It's doubtful that you would rise to become a medieval knight without having an interesting path. Today, we imagine the stories of a few Knights we have available for a limited time in our sale.
Meet Alexander Castell
Alexander Castell has, from a very young age, spent most of his time outdoors. He would always envision fictional adventures of him fighting off monsters and saving damsels in distress. That's why he spent much of his childhood in woods, where his heroic stories could come alive (only in his head though).
It's quite possible that Alexander imagined these heroic scenarios in his head because he is a coward in real life. He always runs away from conflict, and always gets sick the night before the battle. Everyone knows that Alexander is a big coward, but they like him nevertheless.
He is always awfully energetic, making jokes and telling stories, which the knights and soldiers need before and after the battle. He is quite the joker and the prankster, a morale booster for the whole King's army. And it's not just the soldiers who like his energy; the ladies love it too!
And Alexander loves the ladies, his motto being "The more the better." After all, he is awfully energetic, and that energy has to go somewhere, right?
Meet Mendel Bradburn
Mendel was the only son born to Brad and Bradina Bradburn, a noble and rich family. He was born and raised as a nobleman, forever proud of his family tree, history, and heritage.
Though titles honor him, his physic doesn't. He's quite frail and skinny, unable to even carry a sword, let alone wield it. He does, however, carry a long dagger nicknamed the Dagger of Many Eyes.
What many people do is they mistake Mendel's physical frailness for his actual power. He might look physically weak, but mentally he's capable of anything. And when this is paired with his aggressive nature, Mendel often goes berserk.
And for some reason, he likes to stab people in the eyes. Specifically, he stabs a single eye (often the left one), pulls it out of the eye socket, and then forces the poor bastards to look into their own eye with the remaining one.
It gets worse though. Alexander collects the eyes and throws them on his enemies in battles. You'd be surprised how many battles were won because of this absurd eye tradition.
Meet Charlton Whettnall
Charlton was one of the ugliest people ever born. When he was 3 years old, his father sold him to a circus for a few pennies because he could no longer look at Charlton every day.
But this turned out to be a good thing for Charlton. He traveled much of the known world with a group of freaks who taught him how to accept his nature. With them, he experienced many adventures: he ran away from snakes in Western Africa, got chased by bears in Scandinavia, and was even bitten by squirrels in Northern Italy.
Unfortunately, being exposed to all of these unpleasant experiences made him a coward. Even to this day Charlton often wakes up screaming and cursing all the squirrels in this world.
Charlton's biggest virtue is his diligence. He left the circus as a complete man, one that can reach his goals through the power of sheer will. Upon leaving the circus he joined King's army and quickly climbed the ranks.
Charlton is now a knight. Things are good for him. His ugliness scares away his enemies, and he's good on the battlefield as long as there aren't any squirrels around
Meet Herman Frei
Herman Frei is the son of Robert and Regina Frei. Apparently. Some say that Regina often spent too much time in a barn with her cousin Nicholas and that he is Herman's actual father.
Though these are just rumors, they explain a lot. You see, Herman is at times himself, and at times someone else. The actual Herman is a brave knight that fought many battles. When he's not slaying foes, Herman acts as an accountant for the King, managing the treasury and finding out new ways to fill the King's coffers.
But then there are these episodes when Herman starts acting as Valentina, an ugly prostitute from Milan. During those episodes (which can sometimes last for a whole day), Herman likes to hide away in closets because he thinks Milaneese pimps are looking for him.
As long as Herman doesn't have one of these episodes on the battlefield, you're golden. But if he does, you can always knock him down and then pour a bucket of ice over him. People close to him swear that this brings him back to his normal self.
Meet Channing Couture
Channing grew up in a humble, pious family with 6 brothers and 3 sisters. He was the oldest child and a role-model for everyone else. Channing piously accepted the role given to him and he stayed away from all earthly pleasures, especially sex. Some even say he's a virgin...
Channing started working on a farm with his father at the age of 4, plucking weeds and harvesting crops to help his family survive. His longtime experience on the farmland makes him an exceptional landowner and lord.
Abstaining from all these things also make Channing very upbeat and energetic. Forever sober and industrious, he's capable of completing tasks in a heartbeat. He's capable of pretty much everything except fighting.
Now you would think that King's knight would know how to fight, but Channing is not the fighting type. He can kill, and is perfectly capable of defending himself, he just won't attack first. Just leave him in a city where defense is needed, and he'll do an excellent job.